Reality Of My Existence
by Grey Mustang
Summary: When not even the people you live with know you, your only friend starts to reveal the true them, hating a certain person can cause everyone to hate you, you're not sure there's such thing as love anymore, not even in familly... What do you do? On HIATUS
1. Preface

**_Disclaimer: I do not own most of the things in this story ... unfortunately._**

**_A/N: This is just a small part of my story to come. I know it is pathetically short :P  
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**Preface_  
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I don't think anyone thinks much about how they will die – not accurately and in detail at least – but even though I stood there, facing what could be death, I would never have imagined it to be like this. The knowledge that I could die right then and there should have frightened me. I should have screamed and in the least tried to get away, but I wasn't scared.

Those golden eyes held me still. The same calming effect they had always had took hold of me even in the present situation. They made me think of all the things I had missed out on in life – marriage, family, friends. But in a way I didn't regret one second of the cause that had brought me to an ending like this.

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_**A/N: This is just a small sector of one of the things I have planned for Lily as she tells her story how it really happened. School wasn't all that easy and neither was life before hand. so how did she get through it? CHAPTERS COMING SOON  
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	2. The Beginning

_Disclaimer: I do not own anything that J.K Rowlling has written in her books. _

_A/N:Yes I have used some of the scenes straight from the books so please do not yell at me or type angrily at me for being 'unoriginal'. Yes it is J.K's work but I am merely transfering it so that readers can read it from Lily's point of view. Yes I am adding bits and pieces of my own original ideas that I think may work in the storyline but I do not take credit for the story in any way what so ever because the idea came from the inspirational books J.K Rowlling has written. Thank you and please enjoy your read que cheesy grin _

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**Chapter 1: The Beginning**

From the moment it had started it had been unwanted. They all looked at me differently, as though the magic that pulsed through my veins was a fatal disease. Pitying but at the same time terrified that they may catch it. Even my beloved older sister, Petunia, who was my best friend and closest to me, began to look at me cautiously. Mum – to say in the least – was terrified as much as she tried to hide it. Father… Dad wouldn't have noticed if it had been a fatal disease.

It had started so suddenly without any warning. Sometimes I feel it should have come in a package with a message that read: "Warning! Opening this package may cause dire changes to you social life and Existance!"

I still remember clearly the first time it happened. The humidity had been near intolerable, but the flapping of moist sheets around my face justified as cool enough. It was my job to hand the wooden clothes pegs to Mum from my small plastic bucket as she needed them. In return for my labour I received the coolness that the indoors couldn't deliver.

If I could've changed what I did next I would have, even if I hadn't meant to do it.

"Mummy, Mummy!" I called with all the excitement of a seven year old. "Mummy, look what I can do!" I sought for her attention to see the unexplainable as the peg I had been reaching for levitated halfway between my petite hand and the bucket. Mum had had a different reaction from mine however. Her eyes widened in terror at what she was seeing, her mouth hung open, a fish struggling out of water.

I had smiled up at her, so proud of my actions. My expression soon changed though. Her brow furrowed and the sides of her lips were pulled down in an unpleasant frown. Her dark eyes were black with anger as she yelled at me. "Don't do that you horrid, horrid child!" She slapped my hand and the peg fell to the ground as though it had never been touched by magic. I was so shocked by my mother's actions that I couldn't make my feet move, yet I was desperate to escape her rage.

She grasped my shoulders so tightly, I yelped in pain as her nails cut into my skin. She shook me fast, her teeth clenched as she yelled at me still. "You must never do that again Lily! Do you hear me?" She stopped shaking me and looked into my eyes; I could see she was just as close to tears as I had been. I was quick to respond, nodding my head as fast as I could so that my dark red hair bounced upon my shoulders.

Mum let go of me and put her hand to her mouth to stifle a sob. Turning away from me she pointed to the back door. "Go to your room!" I ran to the door and used all my body weight to force it open. Tears streamed in endless cascades down my cheeks and soaked the pillow I hid in for hours.

So my first experience with magic had been less than encouraging. I had been wary of Mum for weeks on end after the clothesline incident. I willed the magic to go away but it wouldn't stop. Sometimes I couldn't control it – when I was angry or upset – and if Mum was ever there to see it she would react exactly the same as she had with the peg. I sported some good bruises on my forearms from varied warnings and bear some small, almost invisible, scars from where here long nails had drawn blood.

Despite how frightening I found Mum's warnings I could never bring myself to completely banish the magic. It never failed to nourish my curiosity. Of course I never let Mum see me when I was using my gift, hiding up in my room or in the playground across the road.

Dad hardly noticed the change in me. Sometimes I would even find myself using my magic right in front of him, whether it be to light his cigarette with my own fingers or changing channels on the TV just by blinking, and he still wouldn't bid me the attention I had always craved from him. I eventually I resigned my attempts and left him to the token kiss on the cheek I got morning and night and the occasional hearty conversation at the dinner table.

Sometimes I would show my tricks to Petunia so long as she promised on our sisterhood that she wouldn't tell Mum. The magic both entertained and frightened her as she watched the magic unfurling before her own eyes. Each time she caught me doing something she would harry me: "Mummy told you not to Lily" "Mummy doesn't like it when you do that Lily".

But she never did anything about it.

* * *

It was three years later that I found out the true potential of my magic and what it could bring me. It had been the afternoon and Petunia and I were at the park across the road our legs swinging back and forth as we battled to see who could swing highest, of course it would be me. As I swung higher and higher Petunia watched me with a mix of admiration and dread. When she saw my hands loosen from the chain as my swing reached the highest point of its arc she shriek, but it wasn't enough to put me off. "Lily, don't do it!"

I laughed out loud as I flew into the air and let the air that passed me whip my unbound hair around my face. I touched to the ground on my toes far too lightly to convince Petunia it had just been a graceful leap. She dragged her feet along to ground and jumped from her halted swing, hands on hips. "Mummy said you weren't allowed Lily!"

I ignored her irritating badger of disapproval and went on with my excitement, the adrenalin rush making the magic feel needed to be used. "But I'm fine," I insisted, "And look Tuney, watch what I can do." Petunia looked cautiously around us, searching for watching eyes that might unveil the ghastly secret of what the youngest Evans daughter was. But I knew once she had assured herself no one would see she would come.

I picked up a fallen flower that lay on the ground, dehydrated and dying. I waited until my sister was near enough to see and then held the flower out in my palm. The purple petals open and closed gently as I willed it to. Petunia shriek, "Stop it!" and pushed my hand away from her.

I rolled my eyes dismissively. "It's not going to hurt you," I said as I threw the flower back to the ground.

"But it's not right," but I saw Petunia's eyes follow it and remained looking at torn between curiosity and her usual disapproval of such actions. "How do you do it?" she added with longing in her voice.

"It's obvious isn't it?" both Petunia and I were startled as a grubby looking boy my age appeared out of nowhere. Petunia shrieked and ran for cover of the playground swings. I have always been much braver than my sister and so stood my ground while remaining cautious. I was curious of this boy's knowledge of what I could do.

"What's obvious?" I pressed.

He lowered his voice with a glance a Petunia by the swings and leant towards me so that his greasy black hair hung down by the sides of his face. "I know what you are."

"What do you mean?" I asked with pure curiosity now.

"You're a witch," he whispered.

My mouth opened in indignation and stuck my nose up in the air ready to leave, "Well _that's_ not a very nice thing to say to somebody!"

"No!" the boy flapped after me in his ridiculously large coat to where I now stood by my sister, "You _are_ a witch. I've been watching you for a while. But there's nothing wrong with that. My mum's one and I'm a wizard."

Petunia's cold laugh broke through the moment as she regained her confidence and stood over the boy with the authority of an older child. "Wizard!" she goaded him, "_I_ know who _you_ are. You're that Snape boy! They live down Spinner's End by the river," she informed me and it was clear her distaste for the place. "Why have you been spying on us?"

The boy mumbled something under his breath and pulled at the collar of his coat as you do when in a hot and uncomfortable situation. "Wouldn't spy on _you_ anyway," he said spitefully, "_you're_ a muggle."

Neither Petunia nor I knew what he meant by that, but it was clear in his tone to both of us that it was something that it was something undoubtedly this Snape boy thought repugnant.

Petunia huffed in indignation and turned her back on the boy before looking to me, "Come on Lily we're leaving!"

I obeyed my sister wilfully and glared over my shoulder at the boy. "The nerve of him!" Petunia said shrilly, "Muggle, what kind of abnormal rubbish is that? What does it even mean?"

I didn't respond to Petunia's questions because I wanted to know what it meant as well, but for different reasons than hers. I wanted to know more about these witches and wizards that this boy claimed I was one of.

"Tuney, I left my jacket at the swings. I'm going to get it." I lied. I hadn't even brought a jacket to that park. But I needed to catch that boy before he disappeared and I didn't get to find out what I really was, if I was anything at all. I saw his bat-like coat a fair way off and called out to him hoping that Petunia couldn't hear me.

The boy turned slowly and turned a slight pink when he saw who it was. He stood and waited for me to reach him. I lowered my voice and checked that Petunia couldn't see us, "Can you meet me tomorrow?" He looked surprised but not enthusiastically. I smiled encouragingly and then whispered again, "Meet me here after lunch. I want to know everything about magic."

I sprinted off towards the gate where I saw Petunia looking at our house uninterested. "What took you so long?" she asked me when she finally noticed me and we began to walk back to the house.

"I remembered I didn't bring a jacket," I said as humbly as I could manage. It was enough to fool my sister and she snorted at my stupidity and payed no attention to me the rest of the short walk.

I was so excited about tomorrow's meeting that I could hardly sleep. I wondered what kind of magic it was that I held in me and when I fell asleep all I could dream of cauldrons of green potion and pointed hats and broomsticks.

When I woke I felt nervous. What I had read in books and seen in movies all showed that witches were horrible ugly woman with only intentions to do evil. The witch was always the one who poisoned the princess in spite of her beauty. Did I really want to be that, even if it did mean getting these priceless powers?

I wasn't looking forward to lunch as much as I had the day before after I went through breakfast. Besides, who wants to fly around on a broomstick to get to places when you could be safe on the ground instead of fifty feet up in the air? The thought of falling from the air made my fear of heights seem even more logical than before.

As the hours drew nearer to when I had to face what I really was and know it for the truth instead of thinking it was all inside my head, I considered standing the boy up and simply just not going. But that would have been cruel wouldn't it? And so regardless of fears I went to the park and stood by the swings. I waited for what felt like hours, but every time I checked my watch only a couple of minutes would have passed. Finally after fifteen minutes wait the boy in his too-short jeans and smock like shirt appeared from behind the bushes.

Neither of us made anymore movement than that and just watched each other awkwardly. Finally he broke the tension by saying, "So you want to know about magic?" I took a while battling with my earlier thoughts but in the end nodded. He motioned for me to follow him and I obliged. He led me to a small thicket and crawled in. I hesitated before I followed but eventually did.

He sat cross-legged in the cool shade and I was quite content now to join him. "I'm Severus Snape," he said politely holding out a dirty hand that contradicted his manners. I took his hand regardless of his sanitation and introduced myself. "What do you want to know?" he asked me once I was comfortable in my own patch of shade. I already had my answer planned.

"Everything," I answered and he smiled broadly before launching into speech. We must have spent hours in that thicket because by the time I took notice of where the sun was it was low in the sky, nearing the roofs of the closely built houses.

From what I had learnt just from letting him speak and answer my questions, I was much reassured that my being a witch was not a bad thing but a priceless gift. The first thing he had explained was the school of Hogwarts that I would spend most of seven years in and how I would get a letter directly from the headmaster to say I was invited.

Some of the things I found were real scared me, such as hearing about mythical creatures like vampires and werewolves had only ever existed in my nightmares until that point. Other things I found wondrous, like the fact that magic could do whatever you wanted it to as long as it abided to the rules. He explained how the ministry had the power to expel you from Hogwarts if you used magic outside of the school, which worried me because that was what I had been doing, but he soon assured me that it wasn't until I got my wand that they could do anything about it.

"It _is_ real isn't it? It's not a joke? Petunia says you're lying to me. Petunia says there isn't a Hogwarts. It _is_ real, isn't it?" I asked him in a wondrous tone after dropping the stick I had been imagining was a wand.

Severus nodded. "It is for us." He dropped his voice as he leaned towards me as if he was telling me a secret he didn't want anyone else that wasn't me to hear, "Not for her. But we'll get the letter, you and me."

Severus then explained then to me how I would receive my Hogwarts letter. According to him because my parents were normal, unlike his whose mum was a witch, a real wizard would be coming to my household to explain everything to my parents who would then allow me to go.

This started a new chain of thoughts through my uninformed little mind. "Does it make a difference being muggle born?"

Severus looked me up and down as if searching what I wanted to hear. I tried to look as calm and unconcerned as possible so that he might give me the truthful answer. Eventually he looked me straight in the eye and reassured me, "No, it doesn't make any difference."

I felt my muscles relax. "Good," I almost sighed. I looked away from Severus' dark eyes awkwardly as I noticed him staring at me eagerly. He jumped into a change of subject quickly, not wanting the silence to grow longer between us.

"You've got loads of magic, I saw that. All the time I was watching you…" His voice trailed off as he soon realised that I wasn't really listening to his complements. I had stretched out in my patch of shade and looked up at the canopy of the small thicket around us.

"How are things at your house," I asked, willing to take a break from magic. I wanted to know more about Severus. He knew so much about myself already that it made me feel selfish that I hadn't so much as asked him the time of day.

I could hear the frown on his grimy face when he replied, "Fine."

"They're not arguing anymore?" Everyone on the block knew the Snape family vaguely. The house at the end of Spinner's End was always either extremely loud or too quite to symbolise that a happy family lived there.

"Oh, yes, they're arguing," Severus had picked up a handful of dead leaves in his clenched fists. He tore at them as he continued; seemingly unaware of what he was doing, it made me feel sorry for him. "But it won't be that long and I'll be gone."

It worried me that someone could be happy that they should be away from their family for almost whole year, save holidays. So I hurried to end this topic, "Doesn't your dad like magic?"

"It doesn't like anything much," Severus' nose was wrinkled in distaste at the thought of his own father. He threw the shredded leaves to the ground at his feet and reached to seize another fistful.

"Severus?" I jumped in, not quite willing to see the feelings he felt towards his family by the way he ripped the leaves in his still childish hands.

"Yeah?" he ceased reaching for the leaves and looked up to his name smiling at me.

"Tell me about the Dementors again." I didn't really much fancy to hear of the hooded figures that sucked the happiness out of you again. But so long as I needed something for a distraction it would justify.

"What d'you want to know about them for?"

"If I use magic outside school-" I was cut off abruptly by a flabbergasted Severus.

"They wouldn't give you to the Dementors for that!" Severus said quickly, surprised I would even consider such a thing. "Dementors are for people who do really bad stuff. They guard the wizard prison, Azkaban. You're not going to end up in Azkaban, you're too-" the confidence in his tone that had seemed so perpetual, suddenly faded as he went red and began to shred leaves again.

A rustle in the tree beside us stunned me for a few seconds before I saw my sister struggling to get her footing back on the mossy bark. "Tuney!" I said surprised, but still happy to see my sister.

Severus jumped defensively to his feet and shouted at her, "Who's spying now? What d'you want?"

I could see my sister struggling for some sort of retort but she seemed for once at a loss for words as she had been caught. "What is that you're wearing anyway?" she jeered pointing at Severus' too-big shirt. "You're mum's blouse?" My sister laughed hurtfully as Severus' face contorted in embarrassment and rage.

There was a loud crack above our heads and the branch that had fallen from its high post hit Petunia on her bony shoulder. I screamed as she crumpled to the ground in tears, nursing her injured arm. "Tuney!" I cried as sister lurched to her feet and ran from the thicket in tears still nursing her arm.

"Did you make that happen?" I growled dangerously at Severus when my sister was out of sight.

"No," he said it too calmly and not surprised or defensive enough for me to believe he was telling me the truth. I could sense a small part of him was scared for what he had done.

"You did! You _did_! You hurt her!" I screamed at him with all the breath in my lungs.

"No – No I didn't!" Now he was looking surprised, but not at accusation, at my anger towards him. He held out his hands towards me but I turned and ran after my sister burning him with a scathing look over my shoulder.

I burst through the door of our small house. I could hear Petunia crying in the lounge room with Mum making cooing noises by her side to calm her. I peered cautiously around the door way and saw Petunia's face buried in Mum's shoulder as she cried. She wore a single singlet and Mum was putting some ointment on a nasty graze on her bare shoulders.

I was about to enter to comfort Petunia myself when Mum saw me in the corner of her eye and turned to glare at me. I couldn't understand why, it's not as though it had been my fault that the branch had fallen on Petunia, it had been Severus'. In actual fact, it had been her own fault. Severus would never have done something like that if she hadn't been spying on us.

I glared back at my mother in an act of defiance and stomped away. Dad was just coming down from his 'office' to see what the commotion was about. I call it his 'office' because he would actually climb up through the attic and onto the roof where no one could disturb his smoking. I found this out when I saw him hiding there a few weeks before hand.

"What's going on out there? It sounds like an elephant crying," he laughed at his own joke.

"A tree branch fell on Tuney," I said sulkily, knowing for sure that Dad would blame me just as Mum had, but also knowing that if I lied he would find out the truth sooner or later and then I would be in just as much trouble for lying.

"John, come in here! Look at what's happened to our daughter," my mother whimpered dramatically as she continued to comfort Petunia at the same time.

I rolled my eyes and stomped up the stairs Dad had just come from to where my room was. They could come and find me when they wanted to yell at me for something I didn't do.

That's exactly what they did do too. They stomped up those stairs to my room ten times harder than I had, and yelled at me five times louder than I had imagined they would. When my parents yell at you, you can't say that you did take the trash out or that you didn't break the china plates, because they just won't believe you. So I sat and listened to them yell at me for using my forbidden magic to harm my sister and let the silent tears of injustice role down my cheeks.

Eventually my god forsaken sister came around and told them it hadn't been my fault and that it had been 'the dirty little Snape boy from down Spinner's End'. After that I still hadn't been forgiven for their mistreatment or for their unjust blame. No, instead I copped the gun for hanging around with 'the dirty little Snape boy from down Spinner's End'.

"He is _not_ a dirty little boy! He is a kind, helpful boy and his name is Severus!" I had yelled at them before slamming the door of my room in their faces. No one tried to push their way back in so I presumed that they had left me in peace. When I heard the third step on our staircase creak as they left I burst into tears.

Why must everything always be my fault be my fault? My life seemed oh so perfectly normal until that fateful day involving a heat wave and a clothes peg when I found out I was a witch.

I all of a sudden found that my anger wasn't directed at myself as it had been at first, but at my family. They're my family, and they should have accepted who I was, whatever I was.

* * *

Not much changed after that. Petunia half forgave me for what happened in that park and Dad went back to not noticing me. Mum on the other hand always had to know my whereabouts, not that the whereabouts I gave her was always the most accurate.

I continued to see Severus, usually in the playground where we first met. He told me more about the magical world and I unrelentingly asked more questions about it. My curiosity never seemed to be fed enough information to stunt my need to know more. I started to think more of Severus as a friend, than just a source of valuable information, as time went on. We didn't just talk about magic anymore. We would talk about school, mainly my school as he didn't like his. We would talk about friends, mainly my friends because he didn't have any other than me. We would also talk about families; mainly mine because he didn't like to talk about his. It seemed that we did a lot of talking about me in our relationship.

One evening I had gotten a call from Severus, I was lucky that I was the one who answered the phone, if it had been anyone else they would have hung up on him and I wouldn't have gotten to hear the exiting news. "Lily!" I heard my friend's excited voice through the receiver, "I got it! I got it! You'll be getting yours soon!"

I had known at once what he had gotten. "What's it look like, Sev? What does it say? Is it signed by Dumbledore himself? Did it come by owl?" the questions came rushing out one after the other before I could even allow Sev time to draw breath.

"It came by owl, it flew right in through the window and landed on the dining table. I knew at once it was from Hogwarts because it had the Hogwarts seal stamped on it. It says: 'Dear Mr Snape, we are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins 1st September. We will await your owl by no later than 31st July. Yours sincerely, Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress.'"

"Owl?" I asked immediately, already seeing there was a problem in my attending Hogwarts. "But Sev I don't have an owl! What if I can't find a way to respond and they think I don't want to come?"

"Remember I told you that someone will have to come and see you because your parents will need to be explained to. You can always borrow my owl if you really need to. We can send our acceptances to them at the same time, together."

Sev's supportive tone was very reassuring and I didn't feel the need to worry about my letter anymore. "When do you think mine will come?"

"Pretty soon I recon. Mine only came less than five minutes ago, so I wouldn't be surprised if you get yours really soon. You may want to put a sheet in front of your fireplace if you have one."

"Do you think they will come by floo?" Sev had told me all about the floo network and how it worked.

"They could, but they may just come and knock on your door. I'd say you'll get your letter first though."

As if on cue Petunia called to me from the entrance hall, "Lily you have a letter!"

Sev had obviously heard her because he said happily to me, "See I told you it would come soon! I'll let you go, bye Lily." As soon as I heard the dial tone I hung up the phone and sprinted towards the entrance hall. I snatched the letter out of Petunia's hands as soon as I saw the red wax seal on the back of it.

"Hey, don't snatch! Mum Lily snatched a letter from me!" Petunia whined.

"It's my letter Tuney it has my name on it!" I waved the prestigious looking letter in front of her face before I carefully peeled the seal open, not wanting to rip something that looked so important. Mum and Dad soon appeared around me leaning over my shoulder to see the letter.

"Dear Miss Evans," I read out loud, certain knowing and I-told-you-so-ness in my voice as the proof that I wasn't just a freak lay in my hands, "we are pleased to inform you that you have a place at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins 1st September. We will await your owl by no later than 31st July. Someone will be in touch with you soon to explain any queries. Yours sincerely, Minerva McGonagall, Deputy Headmistress.'"

The letter had been almost exactly as Sev had said it would be, except for the part about someone coming to our house. I remembered then what Sev had warned me about. I ran upstairs and pulled an old sheet out of the cupboard.

"Lily Anne Evans, what do you think you are doing with that sheet?" Mum shouted at me from the bottom of the stairs. Even Dad seemed to be hanging back from me a bit, and he's the one that usually doesn't care much about anything. I suppose that the letter had made my parents a bit cautious. Petunia was reading the letter over and over.

"This isn't real is it?" she finally said. "This is some sort of little prank that you and the Snape boy have concocted up in your retarded little heads isn't it?"

I didn't justify her with an answer; she would only find a loophole in what I'd have said. I ignore everything around me as I flattened the sheet neatly on the floor at the base of the fireplace. After that was done I stood and waiting on the tips of my toes. Every now and then I would stick my head in the fire place and look up through the chimney wondering if I would be able to tell if they were coming.

My parents had finally come up the stairs and were now standing in the doorway, but no closer than that. It had been fifteen minutes and I could feel my heart begin to sink as I began to doubt my hopes more and more with each movement of the small hand on the grandfather clock.

"Lily dear," Mum spoke to me in the gentlest voice I had heard her use in a long time. I looked up at her with tearstained, hopeless eyes when she put her hand on my shoulder. "I know you believe in this nonsense but-"

Mum was cut off by a loud knock on the front door. I dashed to my feet and leaped down the stairs taking them two at a time. "Lily!" my mother called after me but I disregarded it. Wrenching the door off its hinges I looked hopefully out onto the front steps. I beamed when I saw a tall old lady standing there in long emerald green robes and topped with the classic black pointed hat. "Lily Evans?" she directed at me.

"Yes, yes that's me," I couldn't keep the excitement out of my trembling voice. She could obviously hear it too as she smiled down at me making the corners of her eyes wrinkle.

"My name is Minerva McGonagall, I'm here to-"

I rudely cut her off, not meaning too of course, but my excitement was too much for me to handle, "To tell my parents that I'm a witch!"

"Yes," she nodded calmly.

My mother's hand was on my shoulder and I could feel it shaking with nerves even though she spoke with no tremor, "Lily who is this?"

"This is Professor McGonagall, she's going to take me to Hogwarts!" I stepped aside from the door and McGonagall swept in, her feet being hidden under the long robes making it seems as though she floated.

"There is no such thing as Hogwarts," Petunia snapped at me, clearly embarrassed by my behaviour in front of a stranger.

"But of course there is," McGonagall said still calmly. She sat herself down in one of our few arm chairs and pulled a long stick out of her baggy sleave. Well, at the time I had thought it was a stick, but I knew that it was a wand as soon as she waved it with a flick of her wrist and a piece of paper appeared.

Mum gasped, and put a hand to her mouth, too shocked to do anything but stare impolitely at McGonagall. Dad watched the magic almost carelessly but the way he stood with his hands in his pockets and shoulders hunched showed that he was nervous in the company of a witch.

"Now," McGonagall announced officially as she looked down her long nose at the piece of paper through her rounded spectacles, "I am supposed to explain our means of inviting your daughter to our school and our purposes, so if you please," she gestured to the other two armchairs in front of her.

I stood to the side as Mum and Dad sat down heavily with a thud. McGonagall ignored their stunned shock and continued reading. I suppose that she had to deal with muggle born children all the time and so must be accustom to the reaction of their parents.

"Our school is a very highly recommended school for young witches and wizards as you may have guess already," McGonagall explained all too simply.

"My Lily, a witch?" Mum choked out, the collected smoothness that was in her voice when I answered the door gone.

"Why yes of course, what else could she be with magic such as hers?"

Mum looked just about ready to cry. I inched away, having a bad feeling about all of this after all. What if Mum wouldn't let me go to Hogwarts because she didn't want me to be a witch? I wasn't prepared for what happened next.

"Oh Lilykin!" my mother, who had been once so terrified of my powers, leapt from her armchair and embraced me in a tight bear hug that I hadn't had since before the clothesline incident. "Oh Lily I am so proud."

I was too shocked to respond in any way at all to Mum's reaction. One minute she was terrified of my magic and forbid me to use it and the next she is so very proud of what I was.

"Wait a minute!" Petunia objected from a corner by the window. "How could she be a witch? None of us have magic!"

Petunia went unnoticed because Dad stole McGonagll's attention away. "So you're saying that our little girl is a witch and because of that you want to invite her to your special school? What do they do at this school?"

"They learn magic of course Mr Evans. Witch's and Wizards must learn to control their magic while they are young or when they use it in future times it may go terribly wrong," McGonagall explained. "All our students are fine witches and wizards and Hogwarts is proud of its students, many of the most powerful and famous wizards and witches learnt their skills at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry."

"And you think Lily could become a great witch one day?"

"If she practices her magic responsibly and takes her classes seriously."

Now Dad came over and gave me a bear hug. I couldn't remember the last time I had felt so connected to my family and felt so a part of it as they congratulated me and praised me with their pride.

"So you accept our invitation?" McGonagall asked, I could see the small smile she tried to hide as she watched me glow in what seemed like final acceptance.

"Well so long as Lily wants to go, of course!" Mum beamed happily.

"Of course I want to go!" I exclaimed to them breaking free of their arms. "It is everything I have ever dreamed of, Sev already told me everything he knows about the magic world."

"Very well," McGonagall said with a nod of her head. "You have your list of stationary that you will find all of in Diagon Alley I presume?" When all three of us, Dad, Mum and I, nodded she gave a final nod, "We shall see you at school then Lily Evans." There was a loud pop and she vanished before our eyes.

"Now that was real magic," Dad stated before he joined Mum with praising me and telling me how proud they were.

"Whatever," the happiness faltered momentarily as Petunia stalked away to her room, "You weren't so proud when she was just a freak that could do things with her mind like nobody else. She's still a freak why does it make it any different that other people are like her too?"

"Now Tuney don't get jealous," Mum jeered heartily thinking that Petunia would get over it when the excitement had died down and she was getting just as much attention as me.

"I am not jealous!" she yelled, "Why would I be jealous of being a freak!" she slammed the door on the moment and created a dead silence through the house.

"She doesn't mean it Lily, you know how your sister is." Dad's reassurance wasn't enough for me. It hurt that my sister was prepared to openly call me a freak of nature in front of my face and sound like she meant it. What hurt more was that what she had said before was true. When I was alone in my magical world, unlike any other people my parents knew of, it wasn't ok, it had been forbidden and an embarrassment. Now that they knew there were hundreds, possibly even thousands of people like me, everything was ok because I wasn't different anymore.

I excused myself from the lounge and headed up to my room to be alone. I thought about Petunia's words for an hour and after a hurtful realisation, everything was back to the way it had been before Minerva McGonagall had set foot in our house.

* * *

"Isn't it great Lily?" Sev exclaimed from the foot of my bed. He was allowed in our house now that my parents knew he was just like me and Mum even chatted with his mum on the front steps when Mrs Severus dropped him off. I never went to Sev's house, he wouldn't let me.

"Terrific," I answered half-heartedly.

"You have to come to Diagon Alley with me so we can buy our school things together," Sev was very excited that I was allowed to go to Hogwarts with him, I wondered if I was going to be his only friend, much like I was in the normal world.

"Of course I will."

"What's wrong?" Sev had seen straight through my mask while I tried to hide my hurt that still swam inside me from when Petunia had slammed the echoing thoughts into my head. "I thought your parents were happy that you were a witch? Aren't you happy now that they don't hate you?"

"They're only happy because I'm not the only one Sev. I'm not different anymore, I'm like a lot of other people now. That's the only thing that's making them happy, not that I'm a witch."

"Toad turds!" Sev said angrily, "Why would they only like you because you're not different? It doesn't make any sense. I say they really are just proud."

"Petunia thinks the same as me."

"Yeah but that's because your sister is a stupid muggle, and all muggles are stupid. They don't get things the same way we do."

I was unconvinced by Sev and played with the pillow in my hands to preoccupy my need of belonging. The silence was awkward and I could tell Sev was looking at me, he didn't much like it when my family made me sad like his made him sad.

"Look," he held out letter to me that looked very much the same as my Hogwarts letter except it had Petunia's name on it.

"Tuney's a witch too!" I exclaimed taking the letter in both hands.

"I don't think so, she's too old for one thing," Sev said quietly as though he was telling me a secret. He turned over the letter and opened it without ripping the seal. The letter wasn't sealed with the same red seal with the Hogwart's emblem pressed on it. This seal had a curving D stamped on it.

"I don't think we should be reading this Sev. It's Tuney's business not ours. Where did you get this?" I said in an annoyed tone, I didn't much fancy people who snooped into places where they didn't need to be.

"I saw it in your mail box. Now read it or I will."

I reluctantly unfolded the letter, the building curiosity getting the better of me again. "Dear Miss Petunia Evans," I read out loud so that Sev could hear the contents. "I am very sorry to say that I must decline your request to attend my school of witchcraft and wizardry. A witch is born with the magic in her system; it cannot be attained by simply attending lessons on how to use magic. Please accept these Chocolate Frogs as an apology that things could not be different. Yours sincerely, Albus Dumbledore."

"Wow Albus Dumbledore actually wrote to her," Sev said in awe. I was thinking along a different thought line.

"But why would he send this to Tuney?"

"Isn't it obvious? She's jealous that you get to be a witch and she doesn't, so she begged him to let her go to Hogwarts, but she can't because she's a muggle."

I looked sadly down at the piece of paper. Why things must get so complicated I will never know. I held out my hand and Sev reluctantly gave three small purple boxes. I guess that they must be the chocolate frogs mentioned in the letter. After I glued the seal down so that you couldn't tell it had ever been read I walked down to Petunia's room and knocked.

"What do you want?" she asked with venom in her voice when she saw who it was.

"This came in the mail for you," I said cautiously holding out the letter and candy. She snatched them off me and slammed the door in my face without even saying thank you. I didn't mind though, I was feeling too sorry for her to feel the usual indignity she usually crammed me with.

"Lily, Severus!" my mother called. "It's time for Severus to leave."

Sev came grudgingly down the stairs to the call of his name. We walked sullenly to the door without speaking to each other to see our mothers.

"Eileen is going to take us to Diagon Alley to buy things for your school Lily," Mum smiled at me. Sev's mother was very tall and grim faced.

"Thank you Mrs Snape," I said politely as I always did.

"Yeah, thanks Mum," Sev added as he stopped by his mother's side. He looked much like her I realised.

"We shall see you tomorrow then, you shall be bringing the car?" his mum asked mine. Sev had told me how they couldn't afford to buy a car with muggle money, and his mum refused to transfer her Wizard money into muggle currency.

Mum nodded and then the Snape's exited through the gate. I watched them walk down the street. I couldn't help but be excited now. I would be shopping in a magical village in less that twenty-four hours. And in two more weeks it would be September 1st and I would be leaving reality behind and it would all become a perfect dream.

* * *

_A/N: So what did you think? Please review and tell me because it really is true that the more review one gets the more inclined they are to write more. So if you do like my story please don't just read it and say to yourself, 'She doesn't need my review," because every single review counts and it means a lot to me._

_Thank you ALREADY to :_

_A Heart Is Never Whole and hpismyidol4life for already reviewing and putting my story on their favourites or alert list and showing that my writing is appreciated._

_And also thank you to Mrs.J.Draco-Malfoy for putting my story on their alerts list._

_The fact that people have already done this before the story has really began means a lot to me and is what keeps me writting._

_P.S: Sorry for the cornyness and sappyness in my A/Ns :P What can I say I love corny. _


	3. The Reality Of It

_Disclaimer: As of yet nothing has shown to be something that is _isn't_ the work of J.K grumble  
_

_A/N: Thank you to my many readers and such etc etc Blah blahblah blah blah ON WITH THE STORY!  
_

* * *

**Chapter ****2:**** The Reality ****of**** It**

The morning light didn't come soon enough for me. I was out of my bed and dressed as soon as even a stroke of light could stretch its fine fingers through the crack of my bedroom curtains. I had had only a few hours sleep, unable to make my eyes shut as the excitement jumped about in my mind making me feel wide awake.

The house had a warm glow in the early morning sun that gleamed through the glass windowpanes. I couldn't remember ever being up early enough to witness the house's welcoming light as it was then. As I fixed myself fried eggs and bacon with some marmalade toast I watched the every stroke of the clock about the stove. It was only six o'clock in the morning and I still had another hour to waste.

I preoccupied my impatience with reading the list of items again and again and again until I was sure I could recite the whole thing off by heart, word for word. My mental picture of the school had been very close to a dreamlike picture as Sev didn't quite go into details of its appearance or pupils. Through my mind's eye the school was a large white washed stone castle with many floors where each class was held in separate classrooms. The students were all happy and friendly to one another as they smiled at each other as they passed in the halls.

My lack of sleep combined with my daydream proved too calming for my tired body. My eyes fluttered open when something light hit my chest. Petunia was standing over me scowling. "Get up you tub of lard," she growled pushing me out of the chair and onto the carpeted floor. I landed with a thud on the floor as I still tried to work out where I was through the sleepy haze of my dream that still lingered. "Mrs Snape is here and Mum told me to wake you."

I jumped up from the floor and slipped my feet into my sneakers by the door without saying anything to Petunia. Sometimes it was safer to edge your way around her when she was in one of her moods. The last thing I did was snatch up my list of things I would need for my Hogwarts classes before I bolted towards the door.

Mum was standing with my coat in her hands in the front garden beside Eileen and Sev. I smiled brightly at Sev as Mum slipped my coat over my shoulders. "We all set then?" she asked everyone. When we in turn nodded and she lead us to the garage where our small blue car was parked. Eileen and Mum sat in the front seats and Sev and I in the back. I don't think Sev had ever been in a car before as he fiddled clumsily with the seat belt as though he wasn't sure what to do with it. I showed him how to buckle it in and he flushed red with embarrassment at the simple task he hadn't been able to do.

We drove for almost an hour following Eileen's directions. Other than her few directions the silence in the front seat was very unsettling. Mum and Eileen would occasionally chat in front of the house while waiting for Sev and I, but their conversations where always very awkward. Apparently the way Eileen stood so tall and held her features in the same calm mask as she always did unnerved Mum and made her feel very self-conscious.

Eileen finally guided us to park on a street and then led us down a street that came out in a street of shops. We walked very briskly after her tall figure, only Sev seemed to act as though it were a normal way to lead your friends around shopping. When they both stopped they were standing in front of a very shabby looking old pub. The windows were so grimy you could not see in and the door as though it would fall off of its hinges at any second.

Mum looked about in confusion. "So where do they sell these magical needs?" she asked.

"Through here," Eileen pointed at the pub with a pale hand and then walked towards the door, Sev close by her heals beckoning me to follow.

"But it's only a closed down old shop that looks as though it hasn't been cleaned in years!" Mum said in disgust. I looked at her strangely. Couldn't she see that it was clearly just a pub where people went to drink?

She followed inside nonetheless and was surprised when through the door there were actually living people inside drinking at little tables that were scattered around the dirty floor. There was a low buzz of chatter that became even quieter as Eileen and her son strode across the floor towards the back wall. My mother and I followed in their wake and avoided the eyes that seemed to be focused on our unfamiliar faces.

By the time we were by our guides again Eileen was tapping the brick wall with her wand. It was the first time I had ever seen a real wand. It didn't look like anything that special to me really, just a stick with a fancy handle at the end of it. When she had tapped one brick three times I saw the magic begin to work. The brick began to quiver and the move aside taking all the bricks around it with it. In a few moments a large archway was formed in front of us. On the other side of it was a street bustling with movement.

I looked about in wonder at the cloaked figures walking around in the golden light that shone from the sky between the clouds that seemed to pinpoint this exact street. Before I had time to stop and look at the pile of cauldrons stacked outside the nearest shop Eileen had begun to walk again in her long, official strides.

"Where are we going?" I asked Sev, practically having to jog to keep up with him and his mum. "Cauldrons are on our list and they're all the way back there."

"We have to go get your money out from Gringotts Bank," he replied matter-of-factly. I remember then what of this bank Sev had already told me. Gringotts wasn't just a bank where witches and wizards stored their money, which was different from our currency as well. It was also a place where they stored valuable belongings that they wanted protected, according to Sev Gringotts was the safest place someone could put their belongings. The bank is guarded by goblins and only they know the tricks to get past the security forces, whatever they were.

The bank was gigantic! I had never seen such a huge structure in my entire life. I had to crane my neck in order to see the sky above it. The walls on the outside were made of white limestone all the way up. There was a goblin standing in front of bronze entrance doors who bowed politely to us as we passed through. Despite the spine tingling look of mischief he had across his face when he smiled and bared pointed teeth, I couldn't see any other reason for the goblins to look so nasty.

Another pair of doors were behind the bronze ones, these ones silver with words carved into the front of them so that if you were walking towards them you could not help but read them.

_'Enter stranger but take heed_

_Of what awaits the sin of greed,_

_For those who take, but do not earn,_

_Must pay most dearly in their turn,_

_So if you seek beneath our floors_

_A treasure that was never yours_

_Thief, you have been warned, beware_

_Of finding__ more than treasure there.'_

I swallowed nervously for an unknown reason but my step didn't falter. After being bowed through those doors by another two goblins we were met with a long marble hall. There was a long desk at the back of the room where goblins were seated right the way across with only enough elbow room for gaps between each one.

If I had been on my own it would have taken all my courage to walk up to one of those goblins and ask for an exchange in money. But I was on my own, I was with Eileen Snape. Eileen marched her way through the crowd to a free goblin unhindered by any eyes that glanced our way.

"I would like to extract some money from Severus Snape's safe," Eileen said without hesitation as she handed over a key. "Also a Lily Evans would like to exchange muggle money and put some away in a new vault."

Goosebumps rose up my arms when the goblin raised himself over the desk so he could see me. He grimaced, no doubt out of the inconvenience I had brought him in having to swap my muggle money into wizarding currency which must be quite difficult.

"How much is Miss Evans wishing to exchange?" his voice rasped, sending new Goosebumps up my arms. I clutched my mother's arm and found that she was even more disturbed than me, her arms, along with the Goosebumps, shaking. She found the courage, though, to pull out her purse where she dropped a hundred dollar bill on the table. "And how much is Miss Evans wishing to submit into her newly formed account?" Mum pulled out ten more hundred dollar bills and put them on the table separately.

I was stunned at how much Mum was giving to me. Perhaps it was the goblin frightening her so much that her brain couldn't function properly and she hadn't realised that she just gave me one thousand dollars with another one hundred to spend. The goblin counted out the money and ran it through a strange machine that clunked and chinked. Out the other side of the machine came various coins of size and colour. The larger ones gold, the smaller ones bronze and the silver ones a size between the both. He held a handful of the gold coins, accompanied by several silver, towards me, waiting impatiently for me to take them.

The rest of the money he placed in a leather pouch before he waved a hand in the air without looking up. Another goblin was beside us in a few moments, this one somewhat shorter and with a friendlier squeaky voice than the one serving us. The goblin at the desk dropped my pouch of money into the other's hand and then gave him two keys, one considerably shinier than the other. I could guess that this was my key, my account being brand new. The other was the one Eileen had passed into the Goblin earlier when saying that she wanted money taken from Sev's vault.

"This way please," the squeaky voiced goblin spoke to us as he ambled off towards one of the hundreds of doors lining the side wall. He opened it and ushered us inside into the darkness on the other side. Before he closed the door a lantern was lit to aid our human eyes and then he shut the door and led us over to a small cart. The atmosphere kind of reminded me of a mini rollercoaster type thing, the kind you take though a haunted house. Hopefully nothing creepy or heartstoppingly frightful would be jumping out from behind these corners though, or me and Mum might've needed a new change of pants.

Mum and Eileen sat in the two front seats while Sev and I sat in behind, the goblin took an uncomfortable looking position on the front of the cart holding out the lantern before us so we could see the extent of the tunnel we were in. The wheels made a horrid sound of metal on metal before we actually began to move but once we were it was quite smooth and the breeze underground was very cool.

The cart took many dips and turns through the tunnel, the meek light given off from the lantern was barely enough to warn us before a sharp turn or steep drop. I could feel the cart slow and we stop outside a large platform with doors that looked as if they had been carved into the stone blocking the entrance to the vaults behind them.

When the goblin jumped onto the platform we all exited the cart in an orderly fashion and stood behind the small goblin as it approached one of the stone doors. He extracted the duller of the two keys he had been given and I knew this was Sev's vault. I could not see how exactly it was that the vault was opened, but it looked a lot more complicated than just inserting a key and turning it in the lock.

There were several loud clicks and clunks and the doors swung open slowly. Inside was a pile of gold, small for a pile, but a lot for gold. Eileen stepped inside briskly and scooped up some of the gold into a pouch before tossing it to Sev. It was over like that. We climbed back into the cart and it was off again with another metal on metal start.

The ride was only quick, a few seconds even, before we stopped again. The vaults on this platform looked no different to the ones near Sev's beside the fact that they were on the opposite side of the tunnel. The goblin took out my key this time and did the same thing, whatever that thing is, to my door and it opened in the same manner.

Both the goblin and Eileen looked expectantly at Mum for sometime before she realised with a start that they were waiting for her to put my money in the vault. She wouldn't go right inside the vault, though, when she got to three feet in front of the arched doorway she threw the pouched money in and then stepped back again, as though there was something inside the vault that would eat her.

I saw Sev trying hard to hide a smirk under his bowed head and tried even harder when he saw me looking. I myself couldn't help but muffle a snort at my mother's antics and this made it even harder for the both of us to try and remain respectful.

The cart ride back to up the tunnel seemed a lot longer than the one down to the vaults. It was nice to be able to see the sunlight again, instead of the dank tunnels in the dim light of a lantern. At first I had to blink to readjust my eyes even thought we had only been underground a short time. We didn't have long to be awed once again by the large hall. Eileen was already striding her way back across the hall towards the exit with Sev scuttling at her heels.

"First things first, a wand," Sev's mum said without even a glance over her shoulder. She was heading down the street and even though I had no idea where we were I somehow knew where we were going.

The shop we entered was long and thin with slim boxes piled from the floor to the roof. I knew instinctively that in those boxes would be the wands. It sort of reminded me of shoe shopping, though I hoped I would enjoy this much more than that. The shop was quite empty but I could hear someone, or something, in the back room.

I jumped when an old man seemed to simply appear by our side. "Hullo, Mr Ollivander at your service," he said smiling. The crooked smile gave the sense that this man was slightly insane, and it frightened me a bit. "Here for your first wand I suppose, Hogwarts students?" he walked around Sev and I like a vulture checking out his prey.

No one said anything. It didn't seem that anything needed to be said though. The man clicked his fingers with a look of realisation on his face and ambled off into the towering boxes behind his counter. When he came back he had a pile of the boxes in each hand, each pile sailing well up past his head. I had to wonder to myself what kind of magic he was using that kept the piles from toppling over.

He placed one pile in front of Sev and the other in front of me. I stared at the pile unsure what to do with them. When Mr Ollivander opened the first box and handed me the long white wood wand I blushed, sure that he must think me silly for not figuring out what to do myself.

By the time I had tried my second wand Sev had already gone through five and had found his wand. Eileen was starting to look very impatient, though Mr Ollivander's reausring smile slowed my rushed heart rate. I picked up my third wand, it looked very beautiful with its white willow wood.

"Ahh," Mr Ollivander said thoughtfully as he eyed me eyeing the wand. "Willow, ten and a quarter, swishy, nice for charm work."

I stroked the wand from the handle to the point and it filled my fingers with a warmth, a magic. I swished it simply and an exuberant light projected itself across the room. I smiled broadly knowing that this would be my wand for the rest of my life. When I looked around at my small gathering of spectators, Sev was smiling the most out of them.

"That's seven galleons a wand," Mr Ollivander said brightly and both Eileen and Mum gave him his money for our wands.

The wand shopping had been the highlight of my day, though the other shops didn't fail to disappoint me. Even the grotesque apothecary shop proved to be interested, save the fact that I almost passed out from holding my breath against the stench. We looked around Eylops Owl Emporiu, but I did not buy one, I considered maybe in later years when I wasn't so terribly frightened of losing it.

I was washed out by the time our car drove into the garage. Light was fading fast in the mauve and indigo sky and stars were beginning to pin prick the darker shades. It was hard to believe that we had spent almost a whole day out in London, there had simply been just too many things to look at.

I slumped against the front door as Mum said farewell to Eileen and Sev, I realised this was quite rude but I was too tired to care. Mum seemed to understand at least because she didn't scold me for my unhospitable manners. I went to bed without any dinner, not that anyone seemed to mind and was asleep before I had even counted my fourth sheep.

In the two weeks prior to my leaving home for Hogwarts I read any of the many books that had been issued for our subjects that sounded even remotely to my liking. I had even spent a bit of extra money on other books that held my interest, like: _Great Witches __History_ and _Home Helping Spells._ Even though Eileen told me I would not be allowed to use those spells until I was of age I thought there no harm in learning what they were first. I also found that there are wizarding novels just like we have here, fiction stories of mystery and adventure. I had bought a particularly nice sounding romance novel at which Sev had pulled a face of distaste, I suppose he would much rather read about an adventure to slay a dragon or such.

When I woke on the 1st of September it was quite early, but in my sight I had many things to do and double check before we left, and so I found it effortless to find something to engage myself in to prevent boredom. I unpacked and repacked my luggage trunk several times to check that I had everything on the list and everything else that I wanted or thought I may need.

It was still only half past seven when I'd had breakfast, and no one was up at that time. Mum had promised me that we would leave at half past nine so that we would be there well before eleven to soothe my nerves. Dad was coming too and of course Petunia had to come with us, much to her displeasure. She had complained for an hour that she did not want to have to suffer being on the same station platform as a whole horde of freaks and that it was just as bad that she had to share a house with _one_.

I had become mostly accustom to my sister's verbal abuse in the short time that I had become an official witch. She wouldn't talk to me unless it was to insult me, even asking her to pass the gravy got me one of her usual harsh words or sometimes if she was in an especially bitchy mood, three or four in one sentence.

The car trip to Kings Cross was almost as long as it had been to get to Diagon Alley, but it felt like a lot longer to me. I talked the whole way there, ignoring Petunia's consistent appeal for me to shut up. Every time I finished talking about one thing I would ask the time, only to find that only a few minutes had past.

When we got to the station Petunia had argued at the top of her lungs against Mum's quiet but dangerous tone that she wanted to stay in the car. Her volume rose when she saw Sev and his mum standing at the entrance to the Station and who appeared to be waiting for us. She lost the fight, however, but refused to walk within a two metre radius of us in case someone where to assume she was 'with us'.

I was practically bouncing down the station platforms trying to find platform nine and three quarters. Sev jogged by my side, our parents pushing our luggage in trolleys behind us. When we got to the point that I could see platform nine my head started to whirl with excitement, but when the elusive platform nine and three quarters remained elusive the whirling subsided.

I could see platform nine but behind it was platform ten, no nine and three quarters, not even a nine and a half. I stopped at this point, too disappointed to even breathe heavily from running down the station. Maybe we had come to the wrong station?

"What's wrong?" Sev asked me when he realised I wasn't running alongside him anymore.

"Platform nine and three quarters. It's not there Sev," I hung my head in disappointment and sniffed back tears.

"Of course not Lily," Sev said exasperatedly. "You don't think they'd put a portal into the magic world in plain sight of muggles do you? My mum told me the trick to it already." Sev unexpectedly grabbed my wrist and began running again towards the wall between platforms nine and ten. I tugged at his wrist, slightly alarmed at the manic smile on Sev's face and the way he ran at the solid object.

"Sev stop!" I finally yelled when we were a few feet in front of the wall. I shut my eyes ready for the collision. None came. I opened my eyes, one at a time, and inhaled deeply at the sight of the crimson steam engine in front of me with the words Hogwarts Express printed in gold on it.

I looked around at all the wizards and witches. Some were dressed in long different coloured robes, where others were dressed in clothes like mine. There were kids as well, some that looked much older, but I could tell which ones were my age and coming with us on the train for their first year. All first years, no matter how experienced with magic or wizardish they looked, couldn't take their eyes off the enormous red train.

I could have stood there for hours just staring at the train but I soon felt a light tap on my shoulder and turned around to see Dad smiling down at me. Mum was looking around a little startled but at the same time amazed. And Petunia stood with her shoulders hunched up to her ears in a self-protective way.

Sev's mum took him off to put his luggage on the train straight away. Mum and Dad were mulling around the platform with stunned looks on their faces. I took this opportunity to talk to Petunia, I didn't want to leave my family for almost a whole year and leave my sister thinking that she hated me. No, I wanted to fix things up so that she was the old Petunia again.

"I'm going to miss you Tuney," I smiled sweetly as I spoke hoping that it would soften my sister's hard tone. She only scoffed and rolled her eyes. Even though this discouraged me I continued. "I don't want to go off to a school and think that you hate me just because I left on a bad note."

"Then maybe you shouldn't go to this school in the first place!" She crossed her arms across her chest and looked down her nose at me in an intimidating way.

"… I'm sorry, Tuney, I'm sorry! Listen!" I grabbed Petunia's hand as she waved it nonchalantly and turned to walk away."Maybe once I'm there – no, listen, Tuney! Maybe once I'm there, I'll be able to go to Professor Dumbledore and persuade him to change his mind!"

"I don't – want – to – go!" she growled at me through clenched teeth and yanking her hand from my grip while she tried not to make a scene. "You think I want to go some stupid castle and learn to be a – a –" I saw her eyes dart over the crowd of people she so openly hated as she searched for the cruellest words she could find. "– you think I want to be a – a freak?"

She had called me this name so many times before. But it didn't hurt as much as I found it did then, when I was trying to make things right, apologise for who I was, something I couldn't even help.

"I'm not a freak. That's a horrible thing to say," I chocked on my last words as tears welled up in my eyes and I felt a lump forming in my throat.

"That's where you're going, a special school for freaks. You and that Snape boy … weirdos, that's what you two are. It's good you're being separated from normal people. It's for our safety," my sister looked down her nose at me with an ugly sneer. She was enjoying seeing my writhe under her hurtful words.

"You didn't think it was such a freak's school when you wrote to the headmaster and begged him to take you," I only said it low enough so that she could hear me. I didn't want to spread a rumour that a muggle wanted to come to Hogwarts in case it was offensive to them, but I did say it to hurt Petunia.

"Beg? I didn't beg!" she screeched at me in her own defence.

"I saw his reply. It was very kind."

Petunia when white with anger and she grabbed me and pulled me closer to her. It frightened me when she whispered in my ear threateningly, "You shouldn't have read – That was my private – How could you?"

The fact that she was so angry she was incoherent made me nervous and I glance at Sev standing down the platform from us. Petunia must have seen the small flicker of my eyes because she gasped with a mixture of violated shock and fury.

"That boy found it! You and that boy have been sneaking in my room!" she yelled not worried about anyone hearing her anymore. Not caring that were attracting many eyes from the many wizards and witches on the platform.

"No – not sneaking –" now I could only try and defend Sev, although the point was useless as she already loathed him. "Severus saw the envelope, and he couldn't believe that a muggle could have contacted Hogwarts, that's all! He says there must be wizards working undercover in the postal service who take care of -"

"Apparently wizards poke their noses in everywhere!" she cut off my babbling no trembling she was so angry with me. "_Freak!_" she spat at me before she turned on heel and stomped back to our parents where I wouldn't be able to talk to her quietly without them hearing.

I began to cry just as the man called: "All aboard!" for us to get on the train. My parents just thought that I was going to miss them, which I was, but I wouldn't have cried over a little thing like that. I was one of the first on the train and I found myself a compartment and huddled myself in the corner.

I had seen Sev run off to the bathroom to change straight into his school uniform, so thankfully he wouldn't be joining me. I didn't feel much like talking to him, he had been the one who got me into so much strife with my own sister.

Anyone else who opened the compartment door to join me soon closed it before they even asked if they could sit in. As soon as they saw my red eyes I suppose it made them feel uncomfortable.

I did eventually get some company though. Two boys, one with raven black hair and another with messy brown hair and glasses. They opened the door and asked if they could join me without even looking at me. When I didn't reply they both looked at me, even though I kept my face turned away from them I could tell they were watching me.

"Do you think she's crying?" one asked the other as though I wasn't in the room.

The other snorted and replied in an arrogant voice, "Maybe she's missing dear mummy and daddy?"

They both sat down at the other end of the compartment and treated me as though I didn't exist. As much as I hated for them to be in there with me I didn't bother wasting my breath.

The door slid open again a few minutes later and I looked up momentarily to see who else would be joining us. It was Sev. I turned my stare back out the window onto the countryside the train was passing through. "I don't want to talk to you," I sniffed as he sat down opposite me, trying to make my voice as clear as I could through the constriction of my tears.

"Why not?" his voice sounded hurt when he leaned forward to try and catch my gaze again.

"Tuney h – hates me, because we saw that letter from Dumbledore."

"So what?"

I glared at him with my reddened eyes, "So she's my sister!" I suppose it was possible that he didn't understand. He didn't have any siblings of his own after all.

"But we're going!" he said excitedly, "This is it! We're off to Hogwarts!"

I nodded slightly as I dried my eyes, well aware of where we were headed. Despite my dreariness, I struggled with a half smile. My attempt at cheering up had caused Sev hope and he smiled too.

"You'd better be in Slytherin."

"Slytherin?" The boy with the glasses exclaimed causing both me and Sev to look at him. None of us had bid the other attention until the mention of the house. The boy was skinny, but at the same time he looked fit and well cared for. The way he sat gave him the air of carelessness as well as arrogance and self pride.

"Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?" he kicked the foot on the other boy who was lounging just as carelessly on the other side of the compartment.

This boy didn't smile. He looked up at the other glumly through shaggy black hair that hung in his eyes. "My whole family have been in Slytherin."

"Blimey, and I thought you seemed alright!" the boys seemed to be back to ignoring us, but I was curious of their topic of discussion now.

"Maybe I'll break the tradition," the gloomier one smiled hopefully. "Where are you heading, if you've got the choice?"

"_'Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!'_ like my dad," replied the other confidently, an imaginary sword rose in his right hand.

Something must have seemed funny to Sev, because he snorted at the boys, which grant us their attention again. Though not in a good way I decided, as the Gryffindor boy glared challengingly at Sev, "You got a problem with that?"

"No," the smirk Sev didn't try to hide said otherwise though, "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy -"

Before Sev could finish the dark haired boy interjected with a quick tongue, "Where're you going to go, seeing as you're neither?"

His quick wit had caused the other boy to roar with laughter. I, on the other hand, did not find it funny in the least. I stood up feeling more confident than I had for the last hour, "Come on Sev, let's find another compartment."

"Ooooo…" the two other boys chorused immaturely. And then laughed highfiving each other and trying to trip Sev on our way out.

"See ya Snivellus!" one of them called mockingly as I slammed the compartment door on them.

It would have been nice to say that after our encounter with those repelling boys the rest of the train ride was a dream. But then it would be changing the story. It seemed that any relatively nice person we came across all turned out to be horrible as soon as Sev mention the house Slytherin. And all those who weren't bothered by the house were the ones I would picture to win most likely to mug an old woman in a dark alleyway in ten years time.

Things started to seem as though they might just be ok though when the Hogwarts Express rounded a dark corner after hours of continuous driving, and I could see the castle. The way the lights reflected out of the windows so welcomingly made the lake between the castle and platform look part of the sky. And despite the train ride that had made me feel so awful, I wouldn't have stopped smiling if I had wanted to. Even on my first sighting of the Hogwarts castle it felt like home, more home than I had ever felt in our boring little street with boring normal people. It was nice to know that I would be welcomed by everyone here.

* * *

_A/N: Little does she know, and we all feel pitty for her... _

_Thank you to Midnight Filly, Mrs.J.Draco-Malfoy and Wicked7193 for reviewing and I hope that my list of thank yous for reviewing will grow [smiles suggestively Constructive Critisism is always welcome as well._


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